Constant criticizing and complaining is harming you more than you think
First things first, I am not referring to constructive criticism.
A decade ago, when I was in undergrad, I had a friend who criticized everyone and complained about everything. Although she was a good and a kind person, her criticism and complaining knew no bounds. In second year, a transfer student joined our school. For some reason, my friend always criticized her.
She criticized the transfer student’s walk, behavior, manner of speaking, work, and so on. In a matter of days, the constant criticism and complaining were no longer limited to her anymore. It was towards everything she saw and experienced. She complained and criticized herself, the people around her, her life, and every opportunity that came her way.
When I asked her not to be so critical, she said she was stating her opinion. But that was not true. She had begun to enjoy complaining and criticizing.
In a matter of months, other students and friends decided to stay away from her. They said she has a negative vibe about her. Soon after, I began to feel it too. Even if I had to speak to her for a few minutes, I felt mentally drained and negative towards life. Eventually, I stopped hanging out with her. I had limited interactions with her.
So, what exactly happened? How did her criticism transform her into a negative person?
You become what you think.
I am sure you have heard of this before—‘You become what you think.’
When you focus on the negatives, you are feeding your brain negative energy. It gets so bad that you become the embodiment of this negative energy, and when you come in contact with other people, they tend to maintain distance from you because of this same energy.
The more you complain and criticize, the more unhappy you become.
The more you find things to complain and criticize, the more unhappy you become. You are so focussed on the negatives that no matter the good that happens in your life, you will still find something to complain and criticize. It is a habit.
Positive and negative situations are a matter of perspective
Someone who wants to see positive in a negative situation will always find the good.
But a person who complains and criticizes will only find negatives even when they are blessed with everything they ever wanted.
How to stop criticizing and complaining
You have no control over life.
Accept that you have no control over life. As much as we wish, the universal truth is that you have no control over life. Accepting this truth will bring you a lot of comfort.
Always look for the positives.
Complaining and criticizing is easy. However, looking for the good, the positives in life, and being grateful requires effort. Even in difficult situations, make an effort to spot the good. When you focus on the positive and the good, you attract positive energy and positive people. You will begin to spot opportunities even in the worst times of your life.
You become what you criticize.
When you spend so much time criticizing a person, you spend most of your time thinking about them. When you spend a lot of time focusing on a person, eventually you will become the person you criticize about the most. You will begin to behave like them. In a way, you have now become what you once despised.
Now imagine this on a larger scale. You keep looking for negatives everywhere; imagine the amount of negative energy you will attract in your life.
Unfortunately, you have now become the negative person that you never wanted to be.
Control your impulse to complain and criticize.
When you control your impulse, you will find it easier to spot the good and the opportunities that surround you even in tough times.
When you think positive, you attract positive.
